he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
