idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
