Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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