we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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