Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
