Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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