I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
In America we eat man semen.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
