North Korea, Best Korea!
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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