I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
