Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
