I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
