This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
