that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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