Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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