i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
