Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
