i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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