College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
