WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
