If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
