I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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