You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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