considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
