Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
