Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
