idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
