Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
