As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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