found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
