remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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