Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
