Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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