he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
