I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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