I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
