so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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