you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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