apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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