So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
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