its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
This toilet bowl is my home.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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