this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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