Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Are my feet made of real feet?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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