it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
