my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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