He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
