Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
