She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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