he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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