Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i think i have herpe
just one?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
