No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
