a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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