ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
