don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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