Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
