Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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