I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
