Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
